2009 Theme: Found

From my random mind….

Getting Found April 11, 2009

Filed under: Life Lessons — jennifersworld @ 12:28 pm

I have a tattoo on my left wrist. It says “Beloved”. I chose the word itself and the location for specific reasons.
The word “Beloved” is such a simple, beautiful word. God calls his children his beloved. I read a book a while back where the author said that Be Loved is the gospel summed up in two words. God (BE) loved and that set the stage for everything else…
The location comes from a verse in Isaiah, (49:16) God says “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.” My name is engraved on the palms of His hands. So, I decided to engrave my own name (which is my identity) on my hand, a constant reminder of who I really am.

You’re probably wondering what the heck my point is in this grand explanation… Here goes:

I went to church last night, for the first time in a while. I felt very awkward walking in, like someone could actually see how far away I’ve pushed myself from God and everything associated with Him. Like my sin was actually a giant crimson stain, discernible to the naked eye. And I sat down and caught a glimpse of my wrist. Of the word that is supposed to be my identity, the constant reminder of who I am and who’s I am. And it flashed like a neon sign at me. All of the times recently when I haven’t been anywhere close to His beloved, all of the deliberate, willful decisions I’ve made to do exactly the opposite of what I know is right, that giant crimson stain I put on myself.

So I cried. I cried for the heartache I’ve caused my Father, for the pain I’ve caused myself, for the mess I’ve made trying to be in control of something that was never mine to control. And then I cried because I realized that He knew all of this, all along. That none of my selfishness is a surprise to Him. And none of it is beyond forgiveness. Nothing I have done has caused Him to love me any less. I came home last night to a Father who has been watching the road for me ever since I left. I decided that this year I would work on being Found (see post below)… I think I’m on my way…